A Copywriting Christmas Present For Marketers Young And Old Alike…”
Filed under copywriting, Event, Hollywood Story, marketing, Personal by on Dec 17th, 2010. Comment. 
With the Holidays upon us I wanted to do something special. 
Sure… I got strong reactions from the story of Rudolph, and the marketing lessons learned from that story.
But I wanted to give more this month, because you deserve it. So, consider this a holiday present of sorts…
A Christmas gift from me to you. (In case you don’t celebrate Christmas, consider it just a plain old bribe to get you to read my blog.)
It’s 12 Rock-Solid Copywriting Tips…
…set to the tune of “The 12 Days Of Christmas.”
And at the end I explain exactly what each of the 12 days means to you… and to your bottom line.
Someone blow into a kazoo or something because here we go…
On the first day of Christmas
My writer sent to me
An eyeball-grabbing bolded headline.
On the second day of Christmas
My writer sent to me
Two cost comparisons
And an eyeball-grabbing bolded headline.
On the third day of Christmas
My writer sent to me
Three act storytelling
Two cost comparisons
And an eyeball-grabbing bolded headline.
(For the sake of saving space I think maybe we should just jump ahead to the last verse of the song. Sing along with me please!)
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My writer sent to me
Twelve months of profits
Eleven auto-responder emails
Ten year old writing level
Nine smokin’ bullets
An eight week guarantee
Seven dollar pricing
Six second attention spans
Five real opinions.
Four bonus products
Three act storytelling
Two cost comparisons…
And an eyeball-grabbing bolded headline.
Very nice job. Although you were a bit pitchy in spots, dawg. But it’s all good. You did your thing.
Okay… now the breakdown. The 12 real-world copywriting tips contained in this song.
1. You Need An Eyeball-Grabbing Headline: Every sales letter needs an attention-getting headline. The reason is simple… if you can’t catch their attention, you’ll never get the sale.
These days ordinary html headline fonts don’t usually get it done. I recommend you look into fancy graphic headlines with extra formatting. Not only do these tend to get more attention, but using graphic headlines opens up the entire world of fonts for you to use.
2. Make At Least Two Cost Comparisons: When “value-building” in your sales letter you want to make at least two apples to oranges comparisons. And make those comparisons to similar things that cost more than your product. For example: If you’re selling fitness, you can compare your $47 e-book to the cost of a personal trainer, which is much more expensive.
There is a danger here, however. Try to avoid making comparisons between things that are ridiculously comparable. For instance… an $11 ebook on building your own green home, compared to the actual cost of buying a green home.
3. Use Three Act Storytelling: Whenever using a story in your sales letter, it’s usually best to tell an abbreviated version of the entire story. By “entire” I mean it should have a beginning, middle and an end. In most cases this will net you more money in pocket than just telling a snippet of the story.
The trick here is in the abbreviating. You must do all this storytelling in as few words as possible. Not an easy task.
4. Offer Four Bonus Products: Again while value-building your product in the sales letter a great device to use is the “free bonus.” This is usually an additional product related to the main product you’re selling. It should have a real or perceived street value. But… if they order now you’ll give it away free. But “four?” No, not really. It could be two free bonuses… or even just one.. But I have seen as many as four free bonuses used successfully.
5. Get Five Real Opinions: In most cases a sales letter should have at least five great testimonials or endorsements. These need to be real testimonials from real customers, or from experts in the field. These opinions can be delivered either in text, audio or video form, and should fit organically into the copy. As always be sure to comply with new FTC regulations.
6. Note That Readers Have Six Second Attention Spans: The very top of your letter needs to engage and entice the reader all in the first six seconds. This is the time the average reader will give you before clicking away.
7. Consider Seven Dollar Pricing: Price tests have shown a price that ends in a “7,” will often outsell a similar one that ends in any other number. Basically $97 will do better than $99. Even $49.77 will do better than $49.50.
At least that’s what the testers claim. (Your mileage may vary.)
8. Employ At Least An Eight Week Guarantee: If you’re selling an info-product on Clickbank (the 
largest online affiliate marketplace) you are required to offer a two month or eight week money-back guarantee. If you’re not selling on Clickbank I’d recommend you go at least that far. You’ll sell more and buyers will even return less.
I remember this factoid being bandied about a couple years ago but I actually went and tested it. Around 19 months ago I had a client who offered a two week guarantee. I first had him extend it to two months. He made more sales and had less returns. Then I asked him to test the concept of guaranteeing for a full year. He did so, kicking and screaming. The results were crazy. He sold a ton more, and his returns after the first year went down slightly (statistically didn’t move at all) compared to the two month guarantee.
9. Give Us Groups Of Nine Smokin’ Bullets: Actually nine’s a great number, so are five, seven and eleven. For some reason I’ve found odd numbers of bullets work best. I say they should be “smokin’” because you want your bullets read visually… and viscerally. A bullet that says “You’ll get more sales…” isn’t nearly as effective as one that boasts, “Your sales will skyrocket!”
10. Write As If Your Reader Is 10 Years Old: Your sales copy, no matter what market you’re writing for
will almost always be more effective when written so the average 10 year old can understand it. This has been proven true in my personal experience even when writing for lawyers… doctors… and teachers.
Here’s the way I look at it… If you’re looking to have readers give you money… you should at least make it easy for them to do it. No one wants to read big fancy words or compound sentences. Keep the flowery words to a minimum and the sentences short.
11. Plan On Eleven Auto-responder Emails: The typical buyer needs to be exposed to your marketing message between six and nine times before buying from you. Add in a “welcome message” and a “continuity message” and that brings the perfect number of emails to have cued up in an auto-responder series to eleven.
12. Then Cross Your Fingers And Hope For 12 Months Of Profits: Now… no marketing plan is fool-proof. But… if you follow these tips you’ll find yourself ahead of the pack. And we both know that’s where you have to be if you want to enjoy big time profits all year long.
That’s “all I got” for now.
But you know… I never understood the whole “12 days of Christmas” thing. Why 12? Who starts Christmas on the 13th? In fact… in the world today there are probably more like 28 days of Christmas. In the U.S. we pretty much begin thinking “Christmas” on the day after Thanksgiving. 
What about where you live?
I bet your Christmas thinking doesn’t just kick in 12 days before the Holiday. So… that leaves potentially 16 more days of Christmas.
Ooh… I didn’t even think that maybe some of these “12 days” actually come after the 25th! If that’s the case there could be as many as 35 days of Christmas!
Talk to me… add to the list. Can we get these 12 tips up to 28… or even 35? If you have a tip, add a comment. The next one in line will be day 13.
Even if you don’t have one to add, contribute anyway. Comment on my choices. Or… just talk about the holiday. Let’s get a dialog going here.
Okay… I guess that leaves one last thing for me to say…
Merry Christmas to all… and to all a good night.
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Pings on A Copywriting Christmas Present For Marketers Young And Old Alike…”
Comments on A Copywriting Christmas Present For Marketers Young And Old Alike…”
Nice one Vin.
I haven’t commented here in a while.
I guess I kind of fell off the bandwagon once the posts unrelated to copywriting started popping up.
The copywriting stuff here rocks my world. Thanks dude.
Dude…
Thanks for coming by. But let’s remember, even as copywriters we are marketers too. The clambake is here to cover it all. But… I hear you and will try to offer up as much pure copywriting as I can.
Stick around. It’s worth it.
Rock on.
Yeah you’re right man.
I’m not complaining at all either =) This site is awesome.
I’m just obsessed with copywriting info… especially the stuff that you have swirling around in your head.
Great stuff Vin, just one, probably, dumb question: what’s a “continuity message”?
Thanks in advance.
Not a dumb question at all, Andrew. A continuity message is actually a term I just invented to describe how you transition someone out of a series of autoresponders they’re expecting to get and into an ongoing series of emails.
Let’s say someone signs up for a 9 part mini e-course on spelunking. You deliver the 9 and now you want to keep emailing them. A good way would be to transition them on the 10th email with something like, “Hope you found this valuable. But my commitment doesn’t stop here. I’m always discovering new and exciting spelunking tactics. So… from time to time you’ll hear from me so I can share them with you, etc…”
Thanks Vin, that was one of my guesses, nice to have it confirmed.
Nice!
Only you could come up with such a cool jingle, such as this, Vin.
Keep on bakin’ those crazy clams… I devour a lot!
Thanks dude.
Nice 12 days of Christams Cover Version Vin. Your version is a lot more profitable than the one my grandma used to sing all the time.
I’d like to throw in a big 13th day…Take those leads in your autoresponder series offline. You still communicate through email but offer to send them an offline report or x to their mailing address if they reply with their address.
Not only do you have constant online email contact, but now you can take it to the more profitable and personal level of offline direct mail.
Fa la la la la, la la la la (I think that’s deck the halls actually, but sounds good for the 13th day)
Thanks for the comments.
Eric, you officially have day 13. Anyone else?
On the 14th day of Christmas my writer gave to me… 14 eye-grabbing subheads and call-outs.
The tip being… to mix-up your copy with subheads, graphical call-outs, and Johnson boxes to stop browsers and transform them into readers.
I’ll give it to ya hansy… but I think you have to come up with something better than eye-grabbing, since it’s too close to the first day of christmas.
On the 14th day of Christmas take your testimonials that are currently in a mindless block… one right after another… and spread them around your letter to prove various points.
@Ross Bowring: Nice one. Okay… no one has a day to add?
I think I may have to turn this into the last contest of the year. Best “day of christmas” addition gets the 20 minute consult with me.
Are the rest of you going to leave the possibility of a win to Eric (a former winner), Ross and Hans (two of my students and colleagues)… or you going to go for it?
On the 14th day of Christmas my writer gave to me -
a trial sale (anywhere from 14-30 days), pitched in the autoresponders, or part of an exit pop to entice weary shoppers. Those who take this offer will immediately experience the quality of your product, your customer service (further autoresponders and helpdesk), and your expertise.
Once the product has the opportunity to speak for itself, you should have another loyal customer.
Some prospects just need one more reason to put down their credit card, and feel like the got the “win”.
On the 14th day of Christmas my writer gave to me…
A one-click, upsell, downsell, and a cross sell. The hardest part is getting to the sale, once you get there, there is tremendous opportunity to add value to for your customer and at the same time increase your avg sale per customer.
The upsell should be a logical additon to the main product, to help your prospects achieve their goals faster, or enhance their experience, the downsell should be a taste of the upsell, and the cross sell can vary.
great post Vin, i hope one of these days of mine will help.
Okay mike but I think yours would actually be 15th and 16th…
Thanks though
@Vin Montello:
since you were approving them, I was just putting the 14th. So then the godfather could decide if they were worthy for the list and which days. haha.
I think your 20 minute consult would be fun. Great idea for a prize.
On the 15th day of Christmas my writer gave to me… Split test look and feel then split test headlines and split test more above the foooooooooold
On the 17th day my writer gave to me…
split testing the background color surrounding the sales letter.
Force the users eyes to the sales copy, and some colors are psychologically proven to sell specific products better than others.
oooh… battling concepts!!! LOL
On the 18th day of Christmas my marketing-minded writer gave to me:
18 ways to a well targeted buyer audience, just for my product and me.
Without a targeted audience, most likely to buy the product, no matter how good the copy or the product, you ain’t got squat. But all the above stuff sets them in the mood to buy. But you’ve got to market to the right gals and guys.
On the 19th day of Christmas my marketing-minded writer gave to me:
19 jam-packed features turned into benefits with descriptive language that brings forth a vivid picture in the mind’s eye of your buying reader audience… hey I’m a travel writer… what did you expect?
I gotta throw in something that showcases vivid and scenic type of stuff which draws a precise and descriptive photo in the mind’s eye. By doing this, you give the reader ownership of the product since they are viewing it in their own mind. As an infamous course says: “Put the reader in your pocket and take them along with you with your words so they feel they are actually there with you.
So give them a completely visual experience of the product, so much so they feel compelled to buy it and see themselves owning it. Make them desire the product so much that they want it so badly they’re drooling over it before the end of the first paragraph.
That’s what a good and descriptive visual does. You turn the features into benefits and make those your descriptive visual. You do that by using the five senses of taste, touch(texture), sight, sound and smell(aroma/scent.) And you set the mood with your descriptions, just like any good travel writer does.
On the last day of Christmas… Thank God it’s All Over… Let’s Get On With the New Year!
Pardon me for jumping the gun Vin.
Eric Barton, have you been listening to Boney M again? (Brown Girl In The Ring)
Vin, a quick question pertaining to the 1st day of Christmas…
Re: “These days ordinary html headline fonts don’t usually get it done. I recommend you look into fancy graphic headlines with extra formatting. Not only do these tend to get more attention, but using graphic headlines opens up the entire world of fonts for you to use.”
For the sake of any marketers wanting to use these different fonts for their main headlines… Can you recommend any online resources where they can choose from several or many different fonts?
What do you personally use to create these main headline fonts?
And finally, which fonts do you recommend specifically as a general rule?
Kindest regards,
Mark Andrews
Personally I use photoshop elements and as for fonts… man do a search for “free fonts” and you’ll find site after site. And most of the time they are free to use even for commercial projects.
As for recommendations, well… there’s impact of course… any of the sans serif fonts and all the usual suspects. But…
I’m finding these days it’s nice to really think outside the norm and bring in some edgier fonts. Just make sure they’re easily readable.
On the 20th day of christmas my writer gave to me…
Several open loops within the story copy to keep the reader moving and anticipating
what’s about to come next. Its not just important to get the prospect to the page, its important to keep them interested and moving towards the offer.
Keep em coming gang!
And by the day after christmas, I want you guys to tell me who the winner is. Note: you can’t vote for yourself!
Hey Mark-thanks a lot, now I have to go look and see what that song is.
I have an extra stocking stuffer for my 13th day I threw in there since it’s Christmas…
Don’t ask for all the info upfront like address, zip, etc… if want more sign ups to your tips or newsletter or your whatever…
When they sign up with their email-name-phone…In the email offer x or the report or y- if they reply with their offline address.
This way you achieve more sign ups because less info and faster for them to fill out and they have a choice to reply with extra info.
On the next day of Christmas, my true love told to me…
Create tons of vivid word-pictures to sparkle up your cop-ee. Get your readers seeing things in their minds!
This means you MUST use words that do not get in the way of your message. Choose words that go directly into the target’s subconscious mind. For example, tell them about crab pots, not “Crustacean Capturing Devices”.
Also, you need to come up with a compelling scenario that can be turned into a stor-ee. Then, like Mike said, turn it into several open loops.
Rinse and repeat to correspond with however many days of Christmas we’re up to, LOL!
Dot
Nice article Vin. Real nice.
What about a drool-inducing pre-launch sequence?
Get ‘em foaming at the mouth with anticipation come launch day and all your Christmases will come at once.
21st day of christmas…
if you are using a video sales letter, experiment with any variables that may take away focus or visitors from your video.
eg. Headlines, footers, graphics.
Anything that takes focus away from the message is likely hurting sales.
Thank you very much! Your site has provided me with such great ideas and tricks, that it made me write to long copy websites, good ads, and earn great money. This site is truly helpful. Direct response copywriting
On the … 22.5 day of Christmas my true client gave to me:
A deadline…
in a tree.
In return I gave them a strong solid close so easy to follow a 3 year old could follow it.
On the 22.78 the day of Christmas I added Specificity to every aspect of my copy that helped it seem more compelling. Headlines, testimonials, story line, etc
On the 24th day (I’m skipping 23 – that one I’m keeping secret…or is it a hint of what’s on the 23rd day?) of Christmas I gave my clienta clear USP/ concept that resonated with my clients prospects and their identities.
…And even threw in some familiar phrases their prospect used that they would say in their own words and their own heads.
By now it’s Christmas so on Christmas day I would get them:
A properly tested price…might lower conversions but make them more profits.
Good one, Dan!
Okay gang… love the answers. As I said… I’m leaving it up to you clambakers to decide. Who won?
Who gets the 20 minute consult?
Can’t vote for yourself… so who?
Dorothy Dot deserves it the most in my opinion.
A class act lady with never a bad thing to say about anyone, always kind and helpful towards others and has the desire to take her copywriting business to the next level.
She gets my vote without any shadow of doubt.
Wishing you all the very best for the year ahead Dorothy and of course a very Merry Chistmas!
Kindest regards,
Mark
Thank you very much for such wonderful words, Mark!
A better Christmas present I could never receive! I’m still trying to pick my jaw up from off the sofa cushion. (But the puppy is trying to catch my tongue, so I have to pick it up fast!)
Thank you!
Dot
PS – Vin, thank YOU also for creating this Clambake blog. Sounds really quite New-Englandy for someone in North Carolina!
You’re more than welcome Dorothy, my pleasure.
Hope you’re coping okay in the lastest snow. My thoughts are with you.
Kindest regards,
Mark
My vote is for Ross. Yeah I know he’s a student. Spreading testimonials around is an important and simple concept though.
I need a less “frowny” avatar picture.