Take One From Column A, One From Column B… Pick Three You Get Free Eggroll!
Filed under copywriting, marketing by on Aug 26th, 2010. Comment. 
As I write this I’m very ill. Not sure if it’s the swine flu, regular people flu or something else. 
But I’ve been locked in my home for nearly three days, beating down some kind of bug. A phrase that reminds me of my former life writing tv.
Back when I wrote for the cartoon Rugrats, I co-wrote an episode called “Grampa’s Bad Bug.” Very funny how those idiot infants thought the “bug” was an actual insect inside Gramps… but I digress.
I went to the Doctor today and while sitting in his waiting room I came across an issue of Time Magazine. At first glance nothing would seem out of place.
Disaster in the gulf… Things slow and tenuous in Afghanistan… This could have been last month’s issue of Time.
Except it wasn’t.
This issue was dated 2005. Yep… a five year old magazine in the Doc’s office. I sure hope he updates his skills more than he does his reading material.
Anyway… I had time to blow so I sat down and thumbed through the old rag. And there it was… shining like a beacon of light in a sea of darkness– Um… okay, that’s a little dramatic, even for me. Let me try again…
And there it was like a thing that stood out among related, but less exciting things—Okay that just sucks… I’ll take a different tack.
There it was, an article that seemed somewhat pertinent to me, you and our business. Aaah, yeah… much better.
Yes… a five year old article that definitely has a tangential connection to us, and just may (with a little deeper thinking) be directly related to you making more money.
Hear me out.
The article was about a man named Gregg Rapp. If the name doesn’t ring a bell, don’t worry. It probably shouldn’t.
He’s a world famous “menu engineer.” And if that title doesn’t ring a bell, don’t worry… it probably shouldn’t either.
A menu engineer is someone who helps restaurants make more money by changing how they write their menus.
In this article Gregg (I think that second “g” is just a pretentious addition for symmetry) gives up a few really cool ideas on buying psychology.
My goal today, as I sit here half loopy thanks to the meds, the other half thanks to the bug itself… is to translate some of these ideas into direct response marketing. This may end up being great… It may end up a dismal failure. Got a problem with that? Ask for your money back!
I will say this up front… some of these are things we already do. As for the others… Even if you do not try any of them, I will at some point, probably try them all. It’s just the way I am. Also… I think you’ll be surprised by some similarities to things we already do.
Okay…
- Menus should use what Rapp calls “unfussy fonts.” I also recommend sales letters do the same. Keep it simple. Online a nice sans serif font like Verdana or Tahoma works great.
- On menus, Rapp says the prices shouldn’t be all lined up on the right side because that just makes it easier for people who are price shopping. They quickly glance down the right side and pick out the cheapest thing on the menu. My psychology is slightly different, but related. I teach my students to “bury” the price whenever you can. Don’t ever hang a lantern on the price. No large font… no color change. Even put it inline with a paragraph if possible. This makes it harder for those who are looking to just skim down to the price to decide if they will buy or not. I don’t want them deciding like that. I want them to take the entire journey to get to the price.
- He also says the most valuable real estate is the upper right of the menu, because it’s what the reader looks at first. For us, this is the “above the fold” part of a sales letter. This is what I call the “beach front property” in your sales letter.
- Tantalizing descriptions are important. As he puts it, “what would you rather eat grilled chicken or flame-broiled chicken with a garlic rub?” So I ask you… what would you rather purchase? A dog-training e-book or a “fool proof, pet-friendly training system?”
- According to Rapp, removing the dollar sign increases sales. So… instead of selling your e-book for $47.00… try just 47. The psychology is that removing the dollar sign also removes the idea from the reader’s mind that he/she is buying something. At least it makes it less like buying, I guess. Now… I have never seen that in our game. Never seen a sales letter sans dollar sign… but I’m game to try it out.
There you have it…
Four things you should be doing already and possibly a fifth one for the future. Now tell me your thoughts. Any other menu psychology you know of that maybe can translate to our business? Any ideas from other types of marketing?
Whatever you got… talk about it below in the comments.
Oh… in the sprit of full disclosure you should know I never finished the article in the office. I rolled that magazine up, put it in my pocket and took it home. Yeah… some may say I stole it. 
But I see it more as liberating it from that environment. After all it was a five year old mag. It was ready for retirement, so I put it out of its misery. To anyone else who visits this same Doctor’s office… YOU’RE WELCOME!
That’s my story…
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Pings on Take One From Column A, One From Column B… Pick Three You Get Free Eggroll!
Comments on Take One From Column A, One From Column B… Pick Three You Get Free Eggroll!
Seems some things are timeless. Good copywriting and human psychology don’t change over time.
The sans dollar sign is an interesting one. Would make an fun split test.
Menu engineer huh? Seems you can get a job doing anything if you niche it down enough.
Simple short writing and probably free food too. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
I’ve always marveled at the copywriting skills of some of these menu writers. Now I finally get a sneak peak into their tricks.
LOVE this post.
Cool… I like the idea of removing the “$” sign. You may write it out like “your investment is only 47 dollars” or “Your investment is pocket change. Just 47 one dollar bills.”
Another menu tip is for the name of the dish… you always emphasize the ingredient folks want. So, it if it’s a chicken and vegetable platter… then may call it “Sultry Chicken Bake.” The vegetables are only mentioned as extras or in the description.
Same thing with copywriting… you make sure the good stuff gets read (as your chances to do may be limited) and you only go in-depth into the details for those looking for them.
“…harder for those who are looking to just skim down to the price to decide if they will buy or not…”
Ow. Valid point, but sometimes – some stuff is just out of my budget. I am generally prepared to spend in a certain range – and I doubt if I am the only one who is so inclined – and if the product is out of that range, I wouldn’t be able to buy it, even if the product pays for itself many times over within days of buying. It’s a first sanity check – and not a very unreasonable one.
Yes, I wouldn’t put the price in the spotlight (unless I am selling something at a *true* throw-away price, and if that is the main point of my sales letter; then of course it makes sense to highlight the price), but I wouldn’t make it deliberately hard to find. I’ve seen letters that go as far as not mentioning the price at all, and the only way to know is to click the “add to cart” button. I am afraid I find that plain annoying
Great post, and get well soon!
I’m certainly against not showing the price at all… but I stand behind doing all I can to force the reader to take the path I want them to take to get to that price.
That said, I’m definitely sympathetic to what you’re saying, Avani.
Hey all,
Vin, here’s a companion piece to your post. A great NYT article on this very topic…
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/23/dining/23menus.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&no_interstitial
— Ross
Thanks for the mention! Yes, I have been taking $ signs off restaurant menus for 28 years! When it comes to type, serif type reads easier, think every magazine and newpaper in the biz! They are in the business of getting you to read. You can read 9 words more per minute with a serif! It makes a little line under the line for your eye to follow. Of course, you need to use sans serif when you are hip and cool. Just make it a little bigger so it is more readable! And for the 2 g’s on the end of my name, I was a Typo at Birth! My real name is Gregory, but my Mom misspelled my name so we call it a nickname! Happy Happy Menuing!
xxx,
Gregg Rapp
Menu Engineer
Gregg,
Thanks for chiming in.
I have to say though while there is some overlap in our businesses all the testing I’ve seen shows the serif font vs sans serif font results you talk about are for printed material like a menu or newspaper. Online… reading from an lcd screen… it’s sans serif all the way. Am i getting the wrong information?
Hope you’re feeling better, Vin. But I honestly must say… can I have a bite of your bug? If it makes you that smart – hey, I’ll take some!
I’ve always compared writing a restaurant menu to catalog copy-writing. They both have an extremely tiny space to “sell” the product. People carefully compare prices as well as the product itself. And so on.
So yes, there most certainly is a great deal of copy “poetry” that goes into writing a menu.
Example 1a:
Sweet-and-Sour Pork
Succulent pieces of pork inside a delicate-crispy crust, accompanied by a medly of sweetly-pungent pineapple chunks and slices of crunchy carrots and green peppers… smothered in a mouth-watering cherry glaze. $9 (includes a bowl of white or fried rice, your choice.)
Example 1b:
Sweet-and-Sour Pork…………….$8.95 with rice…….9.95
Example 2a:
Fluffy Bunny Slippers
Charming and cuddly, these old-fashioned slippers warm the cold winter nights with smiles and memories as well as soft plush around your feet. Relive childhood as you make your way sleepily to bed – rabbit ears flopping and two tiny pink noses point the way for each step. Only $12 for the pair; that’s a measly $6 per bunny.
Example 2b:
Fluffy Bunny Slippers
Machine-washable, durable man-made soles………$11.99
It’s all about the magic of the dream, isn’t it.
Dot
Yep, makes quite a difference.
Very nice, Dot.
But… as for me… still feeling like crap.
Thanks for the gold nuggets once again. I’ll take the “burying the price” one and use it. I’m game for trying it without the dollar sign too.
I’m so busy I wasn’t going to go through this whole post… but I’m glad I did.
I don’t know of any other pointers off-hand (I don’t have a menu in front of me), but I sure picked up some good ones.
When I’m done elsewhere, me and you are going have to talk about getting on your coaching program.
Okay, I know I’ve got a world class teacher now (two, actually), but I like to learn from anyhwere and everywhere.
Like when people ask me why I have several books on what seems like the same subject.
My answer is always: If I can glean one piece of info. in each book that’s not in all the rest, and it increases my income, it’s worth it.
@Vin Montello: I have to agree with both you and Gregg on the fonts. From what I’ve seen, san serif works well online, but sucks offline. And not in a good way.
Whereas serif just looks awkward online. I must admit, though, I haven’t tested which works better online. I’ve just been going on the results others have had.
I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but I put up an article by Drayton Bird on my site which explains the pro-serif point.
Again, he’s talking about offline.
You can see it here: http://directanddigitalmarketing.com/2863/communicating-or-just-making-pretty-shapes/
Hey like it lots — and often wondered about ‘burying’ the price. Will have to start visiting expensive restaurants to see if the prices are staggered … for once my girlfriend will like Internet Marketing!
Would be interesting to hear how dropping the $ will work out and if it’s clear enough .. I suppose they might just click through to the cart to see (I’ve done that before).
You know, I don’t get it.
You copywriters today with all your scientific crap.
Back in my day we didn’t look at bullshit like serifs on fonts and dollar signs on menus. Back when ads mattered all we cared about was which cartoon character’s hands could we put a cigarette into?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAExoSozc2c
“Peggy… get in here! I need 10 jingles for Winston within the hour… GO!”
Great video. thanks for joining us, Don.
Far be it from me to argue with Cartoon Don, but they cared IMMENSELY about fonts back then. Fun (and masterfully researched) book called “Mad Men Unbuttoned” devotes an entire chapter to the creation of the Helvetica font and why it was so effective in strategy predominant int he 60s.
This is the best post yet, Vin. If we’re voting. I told you blogging is stupid fun.
Hey vin, you left a good link on my thread so I thought I’d return the favor.
In Dan Ariely’s book Predictably Irrational. He gives an interesting example and even conducts some experiments on tricky pricing.
To sum it all up. The Economist offered 3 choices – for those looking to purchase a subscription.
Choice 1 – Web Edition $59.00
Choice 2 – Print Edition $125.00
Choice 3 – Web AND Print Edition $125.00
Because choice 2 costs the same it makes choice 3 have tremendous subjective value. The prospect compares it with the other item on the menu and sees that it is a bargain. In Ariely’s experiment this kind of pricing lead to a ridiculous increase in orders for choice 3.
You can read more about it here.
http://www.amazon.com/Predictably-Irrational-Hidden-Forces-Decisions/dp/006135323X#reader_006135323X
That brings you to the sample pages in his book. Which happen to be the pages about the experiment I just described (How Lucky!). They are pages 1-6.
While I’m not sure whether or not this kind of price structure belongs in a traditional long form sales letter, as too many options might paralyze the prospect. I am sure that this kind of price structure does have its place in some form of direct mail marketing. Maybe a follow up sale. Like:
“Since you purchased our “Whatever” report I thought you might be interested in some of our other cool “whatever”.
A 2nd report on blah blah – $75.00
Videos from my last seminar about blah blah – $190.00
Videos from my last Seminar AND a 2nd report on blah blah – $190.00
I’m not really at a place in my career to experiment with these kinds of things. But I hope to get there eventually. In the mean time perhaps you can use this knowledge to do some real damage.
Peace
Andy
Andy… thanks for the link. Gotta tell you I use this tactic pretty frequently these days. It’s what I call the “no choice, choice.”
@Kevin Rogers: Not only that, but the link I’ve put up here proves they were into fonts decades before Don Draper (unless he’s older than that
)
@Kevin Rogers: Okay, that was the wrong link. Here’s the one I’m referring to http://directanddigitalmarketing.com/3031/the-tone-of-voice-in-copy/
@Kevin Rogers: Or was it?
I’ll be sure to try this no-dollar-signs-anywhere trick and see if it increases sales. Great idea
I love that slant too-menu engineer. What about sales engineer or ad engineer. Sounds groovy to me.
-Lawton
P.S.-feel better Vin.
I’m fully recovered, Lawton… thanks. And yeah I have to admit the menu stuff is very interesting.